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Lifestyle

The Hoo-gah Hoo-ha

You know when you discover something new, something you’ve never seen/heard of/noticed before, or something you’ve recently decided you now love….and then suddenly it’s everywhere? It seems like every time you walk down the street, you see one of whatever-it-is: a particular car that your […]

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Space: The Final Frontier

Ibiza. Eye-beef-ahh. Ee-beez-a. Whatever your preferred pronunciation, most people who visit The White Isle never go just once: the island is a magnet. If she were a woman she’d be a fearless rubber-clad dominatrix, mercilessly reeling you in then spitting you out; she eats guileless […]

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Familiarity: Contempt or Content?

It’s the age-old routine: girl meets boy, they fall hopelessly in love, move in together, get married, maybe have a couple of kids….then spend the rest of the relationship bickering relentlessly over whose turn it is to cook/clean/take the rubbish out/(insert tedious menial task here).Gradually […]

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Happiness Is…A New Pencil Case

photo credit Ahh, September: the start of a new school year. As January marks a new calendar year, time to take stock and outline your plans for the next twelve months, so September signifies new beginnings in academic terms.  I can clearly remember my own […]

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I’ve Won Gold

My squad. My birds. Our posse. The Gang.Call ’em what you like, but there’s no debating a close-knit gaggle of girlfriends is worth their weight in gold; like the sun in the sky, they are the one true constant in the ever-changing scenery of life. No […]

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Social Me-Me-Media

No, I haven’t developed a stutter. I’m just sitting here, phone in hand, contemplating that innocuous-looking little lower-case blue ‘f’ with the white background.The Facebook app. photo credit It’s just a button, a single tap on my iPhone home screen, but what lurks beneath is […]

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Smells Like Cheap Spirits

photo credit Having been a big blonde fish in the small pond that was Foster’s Primary, it was quite a shock when I rocked up for my first day at the imposing Chislehurst and Sidcup Grammar School, aka Chis ‘n’ Sid, or “Chis ‘n’ Sad” as […]

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Sprinkle Salt On The Slug Of Self Doubt

“Sheesh, you’re looking old today, girlfriend!” “You’ve really shoehorned yourself into those skinny jeans, eh fatty?” “I wouldn’t bother applying for that job mate, you’d never get it.” With friends like that, who needs enemies, huh? Only these are not the words of a two-faced […]

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Cheeky Breeders

photo credit The Peaky Blinders may have terrorised Birmingham and beyond in the 1920s, but these days there’s a current gangster threat much closer to home: The Cheeky Breeders. photo credit This gaggle of bottle-toting bandits operates far and wide, a network comprised of minacious […]

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Thou Shalt Not Take Shit

I’m no religious nut, but indulge me in a moment’s imaginative thinking here, if you will. When God/Allah/Will o’ the Wisp/<insert name of your chosen deity here> was sitting on a cloud, idly coming up with his “commandments” during a quiet moment when he wasn’t […]

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The Buffet Mentality

As human beings living in the 21st century, we have evolved, adapted and invented so much that we are practically unrecognisable from the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals of times gone by. Yet despite the neatly-pressed shirts and carefully-sculpted coiffures of modern man, there are still the odd […]

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Our Fifteen Minutes

Until the first episode of Ibiza Uncovered aired on Sky1, the fact that we were about to appear on a weekly television show hadn’t fully sunk in. Sure, we’d signed on the dotted line of the contracts, filmed the “before” scenes: packing our cases at […]

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The New Star(t)

Like a cartoon bomb, the lit fuse on our two-week San An 1997 package holiday was getting dangerously close to it’s explosive finale, so it was with great relief that Kez and I finally secured the jobs that would diffuse the tense situation, thus allowing […]

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Poems For My Pals

I was just having a Spring clean on this beautiful sunny morning and came across these poems I wrote for two of my oldest mates, Nicolette and Sheryl (the latter nicknamed Pinhead/Ronnie Corbett due to her diminutive frame), on their respective hen nights. Nicolette’s hen […]

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I said Forty not Faulty

A year ago, when the calendar flipped round to March for the thirty-ninth time in my life, I started thinking of myself as forty to give myself a year to get used to the idea. Whenever people asked how old I was I’d say I […]

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One Foot In The Rave

photo credit It’s Sunday evening after the previous night’s clubbing, you’re slumped in the local old folks’ home wearing a pair of stained, too-big jeans, which you’re sure until recently were the perfect fit. Suddenly, over the course of what feels like only a matter […]

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Let It Go

When the long-awaited day finally comes for you to stand before your beaming congregation of family and friends, feeling lighter than air, wearing the most expensive dress you’ll ever own and full of hope and optimism for the future, it’s easy to repeat those solemn […]

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Relatively Speaking….

So who are the other characters in the sit-com of my life? Which two innocent beings were responsible for the creation of this bubbling blonde mass of insecurities cunningly disguised as a fierce and fiesty be-atch? First up, I give you Patricia aka De Mama, […]

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Buy Less, Do More

Having travelled to some far-flung places and met people from all walks of life, I’d say that some of the happiest, most grounded people I’ve ever met were the ones who had the least ‘stuff.’  helping at a school in Vietnam Now don’t get me […]

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