Ella is writing a book entitled Yeah, Right: A Girls Guide to Surviving Teens and asked me to contribute to the Image And Appearance section, explaining how my negative body image, specifically around my height (I’m almost six feet tall), affected me then and now. Here’s my story:

The Height Of Happiness: How I Grew To Accept Being Tall

I’ve always been a tall girl; as a child I was the very embodiment of “growing up.”

I grew up. And up. And up.

Like many young girls I attended ballet classes – mostly because I loved the idea of wearing frilly tutus, prancing about looking dainty and elegant. Unfortunately though, it quickly became apparent that being the tallest in the class meant I’d always be sidelined for the female roles; instead I was chosen to play the male partner in the dance shows. While the other girls shimmied and swirled in their frothy pink outfits, I’d tug at my boyish shirt and pedal-pushers crossly.

In photos I always had to stand at the back, a body-less head floating above the crowd. When my nan made me jumpers she’d have to click-clack away with her knitting needles, adding extra row upon row to the arms, like she was kitting out an octopus.
In my early teens, my average-height girlfriends could borrow each other’s clothes, chatting away at school about which items to swop with one another for the party at the weekend…but their stuff would never fit me – the arms and legs would be miles too short. At that age, we all wanted to look the same – or at least very similar – to one another. Matchy-matchy, like a girl band.
When it came to boys, they seemed to prefer the shorter girls – cutesy curvy ones they could tuck neatly into their arms, dropping the occasional kiss on the top of their head. Which guy wants to have to reach up to kiss his girlfriend? I was about as curvy as an ironing board; my family nicknamed me Olive Oyl after Popeye’s gangly girlfriend (if you’re too young to know who she is – google it and weep). My mood swings were vicious: I’d shout and slam doors, or lash out at my mum for making me such an unlovable shape. It was a design flaw, a genetic defect – and therefore all my parents’ fault.
But then, something quite remarkable happened. I grew into my lanky body. People starting complimenting my stature, suggesting I become a model. I was stopped in Oxford Street by scouts when out shopping. I did a modelling campaign for a bridalwear company, where I was actually being PAID for my height.

Suddenly, my height was my USP (Unique Selling Point). We all have one – several actually – I just hadn’t figured out that my height was one of mine. By now I was almost six feet tall. People noticed me. When I spoke, people listened (I also have a very loud voice, but that’s another matter entirely). In shops I went straight to the bottom of the folded pile for the 34 inch leg jeans without complaining. At concerts I could see everything, whilst my shorter friends craned their necks to catch a glimpse of the show. I could reach tall shelves without a ladder. Boys asked me out. People looked up to me (they had no choice, but hey, it felt good).

These days, I love my height. It turns out that being tall is an advantage, not the disability I saw it as as an awkward teenager. I used to think my legs looked like golf clubs – huge feet on the end of stilts. I stooped; hunching my shoulders to try and look shorter, yanking my sleeves down over long arms. Now I know that my feet are perfectly in proportion, as is the rest of me. This is how I was meant to look. And I look pretty good (…well maybe not when I first wake up, but after breakfast, certainly). I’m 41 years old (which I know sounds ANCIENT to you) and this body has given me a wonderful life so far: I’ve travelled the world, got married, worked hard, danced and partied and laughed and cried. My body is strong and healthy and has served me well.
So if you’re feeling down about your appearance remember this: your uniqueness is what makes you you. If we all looked the same the world would be a boring place. Whilst you’re worrying about your looks, you’re wasting valuable energy that could be spent having FUN.

That other girl, the one you wish you looked like? She’s worrying about her looks too. Be kind. You’re so much more than a big nose, or frizzy hair. Your personality is what makes you shine; it’s what people remember the most. When you talk to yourself in your head, your body listens. So tell it you’re amazing. Tell it you’re thankful for everything it’s doing to keep you alive: pumping your blood, beating your heart, inflating your lungs. If you tell yourself good things, you’ll feel good. Try to look outside of yourself, rather than always looking inwards. There’s a big world out there, a whole life waiting to be lived. The things that matters to you now probably won’t matter to you later. When I think of all the hours I wasted fretting about my looks, I wish I hadn’t. My height, that thing I hated most? It turned out to be one of my best assets. I’d never have believed it if someone told me that when I was your age. Love yourself. Embrace your individuality. Be kind to your body. It’s the only one you’ll ever have. I wish you happiness and joy and a wonderful life. Now get out there and live it and stop worrying about your hair.

Sam x

To support Project Teen and get Ella’s book Yeah Right! A Girl’s Guide To Surviving Teens to the girls that need it most, click here. Please share this post to raise awareness of the campaign, the issues facing teenage girls and to let them know that we love them, we support them and we have their backs. 

Sam x


Fancy reading my back-story before you go any further? You can find my other blogs at:

www.costaricachica1.blogspot.com
www.samgoessolo.blogspot.com
www.mummymission.blogspot.com
www.worldwidewalsh.blogspot.com

Follow me:

Twitter: @SamanthaWalsh76 (Life:ABird’sEyeView)
Facebook: @lifeabirdseyeview
Instagram: @lifeabirdseyeview

The post The Height Of Happiness: How I Grew To Accept Being Tall appeared first on Life: A Birds Eye View.

Me at 16

It’s a long time since this picture was taken (a quarter of a century in fact), but if I close my eyes and think back I can still feel the hormones surging through my veins, hear my insecure outpourings whispered to friends on my parents’ landline, and experience once more the raw emotion and angst of those challenging years. I’ve written about it before, in this post entitled Smells Like Cheap Spirits.

Which is why, when invited by young entrepreneur and author Ella Stearn from The Lucky Truth to take part in Project Teen, an initiative designed to support teenage girls through the daily challenges they face, I jumped at the chance.

1. Don’t dumb yourself down to be cool


You go to a grammar school; you’re lucky. Make the most of it. You’re among the most intelligent kids in the country (yes, really!). So what’s so cool about acting dumb? Messing about in class; winding ‘Sir’ up to the point of throbbing veins in his temples; driving the poor teachers to drink. And for what? To attract the attention of some spotty-faced oik with an attitude who you’ll never see again after the next few years. Your intelligence is the most powerful thing you have; don’t play it down. You can’t go to the doctors for a quick IQ booster injection later on; there’s no miracle cure for stupid. Ignore the bullies; keep your head down. This is your chance to absorb knowledge like a sponge. Those popular, rebellious girls poking fun at the geeky, studious ones? Half of them will leave school with a few lame GCSEs and an imminent baby bump. It’s the geeks who’ll have the last laugh when they get the top jobs and travel the world.

2. The boy who breaks your heart won’t matter

Talking of oiks – that rakish bad boy, the dark-haired one with the curtain hairstyle flopping across his face and the sexy side-eyed glances? Forget him. He’ll draw you in, use you up and spit you out. It’ll hurt. Learn your lesson and move on. What’ll feel like the end of the world for a while will seem pathetic in a year’s time. Trust me on this. But don’t trust him.

3. Be proud of your USP

Don’t be ashamed of your USP. (That’s Unique Selling Point, kiddo). Yes, you do have one. Several, in fact. You’re a six foot natural blonde with brains, for Christ’s sake. Instead of hunching your shoulders and mooching about like Herman Munster, push your shoulders back, stand tall and be proud. When you get a bit older you’ll realise what an advantage being tall is. You’ll be able to reach stuff, buy alcohol before your mates and see everything at concerts. You’re onto a winner.

4. Dream big


Ok, now we’ve got that straight, let’s talk goals. Think of some. Write them down, stay focused and don’t let anyone stand in your way. Go to university (you won’t, but you should). Live boldly. Have adventures. Travel the world. You’ll learn far more by backpacking than you ever will in a musty classroom. School is just a small percentage of your lifespan; there’s a big world out there. Who cares if that boy doesn’t fancy you? Plenty of others will. Now stop expending energy on some little no-mark and get planning the big stuff. What seems important now will be like a grain of sand on a beach in the great scheme of things. The world is your oyster.

5. Be kind

Be kind. Be kind to everyone. Karma is real; it’s a thing. If you pull the legs off a crane fly for the fun of it, be prepared to come back in your next life as a crane fly. Be especially kind to your family. You may moan about your parents not letting you stay out all night and bitch about your little sister stealing your makeup, but they will be there for you no matter what. Until they’re not; don’t take them for granted.

6. Love yourself

On the subject of kindness, my final point is a big one (I’m almost 41, and it’s still a work in progress). You’ll probably never master it completely, but you have to keep at it. Ready? Be kind to yourself. That’s it. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Believe me, it’ll be the hardest one of all. If you can be kind to yourself – tell yourself you’re worthy; capable; beautiful – it’ll be the best thing you’ll ever do. Until you can learn to love yourself, you’ll struggle to love anyone else: negative emotions like insecurity and jealousy will tarnish relationships and cloud your judgement. Look after your health and your sanity; take care of your body. It’s the only one you’ll ever have. Surround yourself with good people. Believe in yourself: if you believe you can or believe you can’t – either way you’re right. When you finally work out how amazing you are, how precious life is and how little time you have to waste worrying about the small stuff (spoiler alert: it’s almost all small stuff), then, and only then, will you discover true happiness.

Good luck.

To support Project Teen and get Ella’s book Yeah Right! A Girl’s Guide To Surviving Teens to the girls that need it most, click here. Please share this post and the videos it contains to raise awareness of the campaign, the issues facing teenage girls and to let them know that we love them, we support them and we have their backs. 

Sam x


Fancy reading my back-story before you go any further? You can find my other blogs at:

www.costaricachica1.blogspot.com
www.samgoessolo.blogspot.com
www.mummymission.blogspot.com
www.worldwidewalsh.blogspot.com

Follow me:

Twitter: @SamanthaWalsh76 (Life:ABird’sEyeView)
Facebook: @lifeabirdseyeview
Instagram: @lifeabirdseyeview

The post Project Teen: Six Things I’d Say To My Teenage Self appeared first on Life: A Birds Eye View.