Ha! Thought that’d get your attention.

Whaddya mean, I don’t have a perfect body?! Well, maybe not quiiite yet. But I live in hope. We all do, amiright? And one way I’m going to get that ‘bikini body’ (just saying the words makes me shudder) is by drinking my breakfast, like a good girl. Yes you heard me correctly, I’m going to drink breakfast. No, no, no. Before you pack me off to rehab, I’m not talking gin and tonic in my water bottle to start the day with a smile…although that would certainly spice up my morning commute. No, I’m talking Nutribuddy: an organic blend of oats, flaxseeds, chia seeds, coconut and the flavouring of your choice. It’s gluten-free, dairy-free, lactose-free and vegan – and unlike other shakes I could mention…it’s not taste-free. It’s actually bursting with flavour. High five to that! Did I also mention that it contains no chemical nasties? None whatsoever. Well I never. Aren’t I the virtuous one all of a sudden? Just stick a halo on me and call me an angel. Or something.

Now we all know that us girls can be a little pushed for time in the mornings, eh? I mean, who has time for brekkie when there’s the important matter of transforming from The Beast into a Disney beauty in the space of half an hour or so (or is that just me)? Now, unless you can trade my makeup brushes for a magic wand, I’m gonna need allll the time and tricks of the trade in the bathroom rather than the kitchen. One peek in my house will confirm this – bathroom shelves: groaning, kitchen shelves: empty. Sure, I could skip the makeup and have breakfast…but I’d rather start the day the right way: with lipstick and mascara. Because nothing tastes as good as glamorous feels.

BUT a hungry girl is an angry girl…and so is an ugly one. So I’m going to take one minute each morning to mix three scoops of my Nutribuddy breakfast, mix with 300-400ml of milk, shake it to make it, and voila: breakfast in a flash.

You can use any kind of milk: skimmed…soya…almond is my new fave. Although I still have no idea how they milk an almond?* To be fair, I thought almonds only came in croissants until a week ago.

With Nutribuddy Breakfast I can leave the house feeling and looking my best, with no grumbling tummy that could (will!) leave me reaching for a calorific almond croissant and hot chocolate as I pass by the coffee shop (we’ve all been there – some of us more than others, granted). They know me by name at my local Starbucks, which is never a good thing when it comes to your bottom…or your bottom line (those snacks add up in both calories and money, girlfriend!)

You’ve heard the saying: “Fake it till you make it,” right? Put on your smile, hold your head high and pretend to be confident until one day you just are?

Well my new mantra is: “Shake it till you make it.” I’ll just shake the Nutribuddy in the shaker until I’ve made it (one minute)…then shake my booty until I get the confidence and the (until now) elusive bikini body (okay, this may take sliiiightly longer than a minute, but a girl’s gotta start somewhere, right?).

So I’ll be swerving the sugary morning snacks and shaking it till I make it. Will you?

Watch my Nutribuddy Breakfast vlog below to find out more… (And if you think this attempt is amateur you should see the 27 previous takes. There’s a lot of stuttering, swearing and giggles).

I have not been paid for this article, I was simply gifted the product in exchange for an honest review. I only write about products that I love and feel that my readers would be interested in too. If I don’t totally love a product rather than write a negative review I just won’t review it at all. Should you choose to follow these pink links in this post and buy from Nutribuddy I will receive 10% commission on the total purchase price, which goes towards the running costs of my blog. Thanks!

*SPOILER ALERT: Almond milk is basically made by blending almonds with water. Crazy, huh? If this blows your mind as much as it did mine, watch this. 

Anyway, I’m off to finish my shake – byeeee!

Sam x

Fancy reading my back-story before you go any further? You can find my other blogs at:

www.costaricachica1.blogspot.com
www.samgoessolo.blogspot.com
www.mummymission.blogspot.com
www.worldwidewalsh.blogspot.com

Follow me:

Twitter: @SamanthaWalsh76 (Life:ABird’sEyeView)
Facebook: @lifeabirdseyeview
Instagram: @lifeabirdseyeview

The post Nutribuddy Breakfast: It’s Buddy Delicious! appeared first on Life: A Birds Eye View.

Rouge Edition Velvet – great creamy texture, velvet matte finish

Anyway, I digress. Back to the nude makeup. To me, the words ‘nude’ and ‘makeup’ had never featured in the same sentence until recently. Why would they? To me the term ‘nude makeup’ is an oxymoron: if you can’t even see it, how is it making you look better? What’s the point of shelling out a load of dosh and then taking an age to painstakingly apply a ton of products you can’t even see? Sounds like a case of The Emperor’s New Clothes to me.

No, if I’m going to spend an arm and a leg on the latest beauty innovations and formulations I want to emerge from the bathroom in the morning looking catwalk-ready and as glamorous as Marilyn Monroe. Nude doesn’t come into the equation: I want endless raven lashes, lips dripping brick-red gloss and skin like the finest porcelain. Or I did until now.

But recently I decided to give nude another chance, albeit my interpretation of nude. Rather than so little makeup that I still look anaemic, my naturally blonde features barely discernable on the blank sheet of A4 that is my morning face, I opted for visible makeup, but in hues of peach and muted browns that looked vaguely natural rather than naked.

eyeshadow palette in 02 OVER ROSE, lip pencil in 01NUDE WAVE, velvet matte lip cream in 10 DON’T PINK OF IT

“I prefer women to look natural” proclaim men everywhere – until the aforementioned women have the bare-faced cheek to leave the house without a scrap of slap. Because there’s natural…and then there’s rough as a badger’s backside; rarely does a woman look as good as Gigi Hadid does without makeup. (That’s not dissing the sisterhood girls – it’s just the brutal and blatant truth).

Because we all look like Gigi without makeup…NOT!

The fellas then quickly back-track with a tactful “You look beautiful either way…but I do love it when you’re all glammed up,” baulking in horror at the sight of thread veins, sparse brows and piggy eyes. He’s hardly Tom Hardy himself, let’s face it, but nevertheless everyone heaves a sigh of relief when the giant makeup bag comes out once more…

So here’s my version of nude: still made up to within an inch of my life, but in a softer palette of shades. No red lippy or flicky felt-tip liner, yet enough colour and definition that I won’t be mistaken for Casper the friendly ghost on my morning commute. The pigment is good, the quality decent and the best part is the price: Bourjois 3 for 2 at Boots meant I got all 3 items for around £15 (there are often offers on at either Boots or Superdrug – there’s one at Superdrug now). So if my love-affair with the nudes turns out to be as short-lived as most of my Tinder matches, I won’t be left broke and broken-hearted…

lanky birds: I’ve got an affinity with flamingos jumper from Oasis

Products from Amazon.co.uk

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The post Send Me Nudes appeared first on Life: A Birds Eye View.

In years gone by, I was one of those miserable killjoys who, when the trick-or-treating “yoof” of the neighbourhood came a-knocking on All Hallows Eve, would flip off all the lights and throw myself on the floor until the coast was clear.

Then I moved from raucous Romford to the serenity of Sevenoaks – aka God’s Waiting Room – and instead of threatening-looking clowns rattling the letterbox in need of a Haribo fix, the spookiest activity I now see on my quiet village street at Halloween is a single skeletal pensioner lit up Scream-style by a neon street light, whilst taking his scrawny Yorkie for an evening stroll.

Although I love my safe and peaceful Kent haven, the sorrowful sight of just the odd lonely old soul shuffling past the house is somehow more affecting than the boisterous Essex dramas I’m used to. It reminds me of the marching of time, the need to embrace every opportunity for fun while I still can; I too may be cutting a frail and lonesome figure in years to come.

Thus I throw myself wholeheartedly into everything I do; any opportunity for fun and frolics must be grabbed with both (increasingly gnarly) hands. So when a friend drew my attention to the Twisted Toys Tea Party, I was all over it. With the event blurb promising immersive theatre by Zebedee Productions, a three-course feast by Nanny Bill’s and general ghoulish toy-themed antics it sounded right up my (dark, deserted) alley. I set about preparing my outfit immediately…

Saturday 29th October soon ticks around (there’s that pesky thing called ‘time’ whizzing by again), and suddenly I find myself strutting down Bromley High St in broad daylight wearing full fancy-dress, complete with gothic toy dolls strung round my neck and towering Victorian-style lace-up stiletto boots, having hurriedly got ready at work in a flurry of false lashes and face-paint; huge clouds of talc and glitter billowing from my office as I set about the serious business of getting into character as a possessed china doll. It seems to have the desired effect as I’m aware of heads turning, my gawping fellow passengers ogling open-mouthed on the train. Job done.

Any self-consciousness felt in Kent soon dissipates as my Disco Devil-themed boyfriend Andy and I reach the anything-goes melting pot that is central London: no-one bats an eyelid here, and we’re soon swallowed up by buzzing throngs of pimped-up party-goers.

Arriving at The Yard, an event space set back behind a gated entrance on Shoreditch’s Worship Lane, we’re suitably impressed by the queuing crowd, who have clearly gone all-out with their costumes: a snake of werewolves, zombies and blood-spattered Barbie dolls is weaving down the street, excited chatter reverberating all around. Instantly I see an old mate in the crowd and we join him, before being ushered inside…

Once over the threshold, we’re greeted by a careworn toy dog, casually lolling in a shed and generally looking creepy. We continue on and the scene is set: childhood toys are strung from the ceiling, props such as bunkbeds, a rocking horse and a big old-fashioned pram hint at what’s to come.

There are two cocktails on offer: a kermit-green gin-based number and a Barbie-pink vodka one. Tom goes for Kermit, Andy and I opt for Barbies and we select some prime seats on the long banquet-style tables at the front…

The show begins: the premise of the story being a young girl’s toys, discarded and left to rot in the attic, become mentally disturbed after years left in isolation in the dark; their once-innocent games now descending into all sorts of bloodthirsty action. Amongst them are a pair of blonde-pigtailed ragdolls, a terrifying teddy, a jack-in-the-box….as well as bitchy Barbies, a rather dashing action man and a lily-livered Ken.

The spectacle kicks off with dancing dolls and a ballerina singing on her podium – only her rendition of “come on Barbie let’s go party” has a haunting, sinister tone as she delivers it with a deep, raspy quality to her voice. It manages to be eerie and humorous at the same time, as she bickers with the jack-in-the-box, hinting at the discord between the toys and the all-out war that’s to follow.

The soundtrack to the high-energy show succeeds in getting the crowd fired up: I particularly enjoy the LED-lit hula-hooping extravaganza played out to the beat of Lee Walker and DJ Deeon’s ‘Freak Like Me.’

Between each act food is served on wooden platters by toy soldiers; pumpkin and cheddar croquettes with chilli jam to start, followed by cola-glazed salt beef and buffalo chicken wings served with steamed greens and mac and cheese. The sharing element makes for a sociable environment, and everyone’s chatting animatedly with their table-buddies as the delicious food is passed around.

The conversation is flowing and the cocktails are slipping down nicely as the show continues. Next up, we meet the Bitchy Barbies – a pair of fabulously camp drag queens and a bestockinged bubble-haired blonde, who cavort around the set to the sounds of Britney Spears’ Toxic, nonchalantly flipping their hair and generally working it. The costumes are suitably glam: the rhinestone-encrusted nude bodysuit is particularly impressive, although I doubt I could wear it quite as well as the lithe young guy who’s inside it…

The show picks up pace as it builds towards the impending toy war, the effeminate Ken doll offset by a fit Dan Bilzerian-esque action man, who vows to lead the battle with the Barbies, toy gun in hand.

Dessert is a marshmallow platter in collaboration with The Marshmallowist, served alongside cookies, chocolate curls and a little oil lamp for diners to toast the caramelised apple and pecan mallows themselves, which is a nice touch.

There’s a sexy scene with a pair of pigtailed ragdolls, one of whom gets left on the lawn and mangled by the mower. Consumed by jealousy of her still-beautiful twin, she sets out to maim her. The scene takes on a sexual twist as they shrug off their petticoats before making up with a lingering, lingerie-clad kiss – entirely gratuitous but it adds a certain extra frisson of excitement to the already-sizzling show.

The performance reaches it’s climax with the battle of the toys versus barbies – a rampaging riot of gory violence (well, as gory and violent as you can get with water pistols), played out to a blaring backdrop of The Prodigy’s ‘Smack My Bitch Up.’

With the crowd whipped up into a frenzy by the theatrical feast, high on sugar from the cocktails and dessert, we burn off some energy with a spot of hands-in-the-air booty-shaking to some classic house anthems spun by the dj, before heading out into the crisp autumn air, broad smiles spread across our painted faces, our desire for a memorable Halloween suitably satiated for another year…

Follow Zebedee productions on Facebook or Twitter to be kept informed of upcoming events.

Sam x


Fancy reading my back-story before you go any further? You can find my other blogs at:

www.costaricachica1.blogspot.com
www.samgoessolo.blogspot.com
www.mummymission.blogspot.com
www.worldwidewalsh.blogspot.com

Follow me:

Twitter: @SamanthaWalsh76 (Life:ABird’sEyeView)
Facebook: @lifeabirdseyeview
Instagram: @lifeabirdseyeview

The post Halloween High Jinks At The Twisted Toys Tea Party appeared first on Life: A Birds Eye View.